


Working Vacation

by paburke



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paburke/pseuds/paburke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is attempting to suss out the history of their 'copter pilot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*

Steve Rogers knew that SHIELD employed the best representative of every field. It was one of the reasons they put up with Tony Stark, in spite of his… personality quirks. So he really wasn’t surprised by the competence of the ‘copter pilot or that their designated pilot could also fly fighter jets and excelled in aerial combat. It was nice to know that they had excellent air support when needed. The man wasn’t even phased by Thor’s storms.

Steve tried to express his appreciation whenever possible but Sheppard just shrugged him off with an amused smile. Sheppard had an eye for predicting battle and for knowing the best place to drop the Avengers. He was so good at it that Clint Barton noticed. Tony and Bruce wouldn’t notice anything that wasn’t scientific, so the pilot wasn’t anybody they cared to see. Natasha was too used to working solo to really notice support personnel. 

Clint Barton had worked within the military structure and knew when someone did their job right. Steve was surprised that rather than thank Sheppard, he was wary of the man. Sheppard didn’t care. He was so laid back, it was hard to recognize just how talented he was. Once, when Sheppard was transporting them into a battle, an enemy space craft fired on them. Sheppard calmly dodged the armament and shot off his own. He momentarily hid his ‘copter in the trees and said, “Ride’s over, folks. If you’d be so kind as to exit to your left.”

“You’re good,” Stark blurted out. “Do you want a higher paying job?”

Sheppard ignored him. “Sir, there appears to be an unusual energy reading to the north.”

Stark looked over Sheppard’s shoulder at the ‘copter sensors and snorted. “Piece of crap. I’ll investigate personally.”

Steve nodded in agreement. Stark was the best team member for the job. “Black Widow will accompany you.” The Avengers exited the ‘copter and Sheppard lifted off. He fought enough of an air battle to distract and disable the enemy. It was only after the battle was over and Steve was writing up the report at SHIELD did the super-solider realize how easily Sheppard had distracted Iron Man.

He cornered Barton and demanded, “Why don’t you like our pilot?”

“He’s an Air Force Colonel and he’s flying.”

Steve shook his head, not understanding. “Explain.”

“He’s still in the Air Force, he’s just on loan. He’s not a SHIELD agent but he’s been tasked with taxiing us? Something’s wrong there. He’s a colonel. They lead people, but he is only responsible for flying. He should be commanding SHIELD air support, or at the very least, a squadron. He has led people before. I’ve tried to get into his file and I can only see up until he was a major. He’s had some disciplinary problems and got sent to Antarctica to cool off. There’re six years missing from the records and then he’s lent out to us. I don’t like it.”

“Did you notice him manipulating Stark?” Steve asked.

Barton blinked. “When?”

“Stark offered him a job and Sheppard distracted him, right as we landed. Effortlessly.”

“I don’t like surprises. I don’t like depending on people who are hiding something.”

“We could ask him.”

Barton shook his head. “Won’t work. Six years of government work that I can’t access? He won’t tell us anything but what we want to hear.”

Steve wasn’t happy to hear that. He liked Sheppard. “We could ask Fury for someone else?”

“That’s a bad idea,” Barton grumbled. “Sheppard is probably the best pilot I’ve seen and he obviously cares about his cargo. He keeps us safe. He doesn’t have the ego common in pilots. He’s cocky but dependable and good backup. I doubt Fury has another pilot as talented.”

“You just don’t like surprises,” Steve said.

“Yeah. I’d probably like the guy if I had some context, but…” Barton trailed off. He had made his opinion known and had nothing more to say.

He left Steve mulling over their conversation.

The context was filled in the very next week. The Avengers were cleaning up a fight of sentient crocodiles in California when Colonel Sheppard addressed him over the comm. “Captain America, a nearby base has requested assistance. Can you hitch a ride home with someone else?”

Steve glanced around. The Iron Man and the Hulk were demolishing the last two crocs. The Black Widow and Hawkeye were taking care of the stragglers. Steve really wasn’t needed anymore. SHIELD agents were swarming the battlefield to contain the scene. “Barton and I’ll come with you.”

“That’s really not necessary.” Steve could hear the distinctive sounds of the Avenger ‘copter lifting off. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

Barton had heard the conversation and grinned at Steve. He loosed an arrow attached to a grappling hook at the departing ‘copter and braced himself for lift-off. Steve ran and jumped. He snagged Barton’s rope and held on tight. They were flying.

“Really?” Sheppard asked. Of course he had noticed the additional weight. “Really? This problem does not call for two Avengers.”

“Well, you’ve got them.”

Sheppard grumbled through the communication link, but he didn’t offer to set down so that they could climb aboard. He did fly softly so that they wouldn’t sway too much. He flew west, over cities and then over the ocean.

“What base are we going to,” Barton asked. Obviously, Sheppard wasn’t heading for any base the archer knew of.

“Classified,” Sheppard said.

One moment, they were flying over an empty ocean and the next, Steve could see a shining city unlike anything. Barton muttered a couple curse words.

“Hey, don’t talk about my girl like that,” Sheppard teased.

“Is this invisible like SHIELD HQ?” Steve was curious.

“We develop most of the technologies that SHIELD doesn’t get from Stark.”

Sheppard hovered over a dock long enough for Steve and Barton to drop safely. Then he flew a slight bit closer to the city –military base?- and landed. Steve noticed that he placed his ‘copter between the Avengers and approaching soldiers. Steve and Barton hurried to step behind Sheppard. They caught the tail-end of the greetings between Sheppard and another Air Force colonel.

“Hitchhikers, sir?” the other colonel smirked.

“Nosy busybodies,” Sheppard corrected him. He called to two soldiers waiting. “They don’t have clearance for base, so zat them if they get frisky.”

The soldiers saluted and then aimed unfamiliar weapons at Steve and Barton. “Whoops,” Barton said with raised hands. Steve raised his hands in surrender as well.

Sheppard addressed the other colonel. “I’m supposed to be on vacation, Lorne. What’s going on that gets me called from a battle mop up?”

Lorne did not look apologetic. “That’s what you get when you make a deal with O’Neill for some time off saving the world.”

“Well? You’re a colonel now. You’re supposed to take care of these things.”

“It’s Her, sir, and McKay. They’re fighting over his revisions to the propulsion systems.”

Sheppard rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He looked at Steve and Barton. “Just stay put. This might take a while. Actually…” he walked over to one of the supports of the dock and tapped on the far side. Lorne looked even more amused and the two soldiers looked confused. When Sheppard was done, a force field separated the Avengers from the rest of the base.

Barton and Steve dropped their hands. “Well,” Steve said. “What do you think now?”

Barton grinned. “We’re his vacation.”

“It’s good to know that we’re so relaxing,” Steve was similarly amused.

*


	2. Spa Getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce knew that something was up with the preferred pilot of the Avengers

*

Bruce knew that something was up with the preferred pilot of the Avengers, if for no other reason than Tony harassing Steve and Clint about leaving the battle scene before the bitter end. Bruce liked Sheppard. The pilot respected Bruce’s intelligence and treated Hulk with wary respect. Sheppard was relaxing like Tony (and his compulsion to test everyone’s limits) could never be. Sheppard didn’t fear the Hulk like Natasha sometimes still did. Sheppard arrived on scene with the same ally acceptance that Clint and Steve had settled into after a battle or two.

Bruce hadn’t spent a lot of time with Sheppard, just enough to know that he was smarter than the average pilot and that, for some reason, didn’t want to be anywhere near Tony. Bruce considered him and Sheppard to be fond acquaintances (since he didn’t even know the man’s first name!) rather than gift-giving friends. So he was stunned when after a battle and after he had reverted from being the Hulk, Sheppard tossed an unlabeled canister of cream at him.

Bruce was suspicious of the gift, but he was a scientist first and foremost and tested the smell and the texture. The smell was understated and pleasant, as was the feel on his fingertips. “What’s this?” Bruce asked the man flying them to the helicarrier.

“Topical cream. You must be crazy sore after a transformation. Should help.”

Bruce didn’t like the way that the rest of the team was suddenly paying attention. He could literally see the wheels turning in Tony’s head as he fit the theory in with Bruce’s lab habits. Bruce reserved a few of his most challenging but not physically demanding experiments for after battles. Yes, the serum prevented Bruce from dying or even getting truly hurt, but the sensation of a body healing itself was not pain free. 

Steve was the one who took the lead. He plucked the canister out of Bruce’s stunned fingers and started applying the cream to the scientist’s face. Within ten seconds, Bruce started to feel the effects. The aches lessened and the soreness eased. His reliable post-transformation headache was losing its foothold. Hands unbuttoning his shirt startled his eyes open. He hadn’t realized that he had closed them. Natasha was on one side of him and Clint was on the other and the two were stripping him of the clothes he had just donned. 

Spies had no sense of modesty whatsoever. Steve was no help. When Bruce opened his mouth to complain, the super soldier decided that it was a perfect time to apply cream to the scientist’s jaw. Bruce had to close his mouth to prevent tasting it. He wasn’t sure of the effects of oral application, but knew better than to test it. The move was an obvious strategy on Steve’s part and from the grin, completely intentional. 

Steve leaned back long enough for the spies to whip Bruce’s t-shirt up and over his head. Then the soldier returned to apply cream throughout Bruce’s hair and the back of his neck. The temporary greasy hair was tolerable for the relief it offered. Natasha reached her hand into the canister and began applying it with a ruthlessness that chased away any soreness. She started on his hands and those joints stopped creaking. Clint joined in, paying special attention to Bruce’s shoulders and spine. 

Bruce didn’t arch like a petted cat. He didn’t. He also didn’t purr. The rumble in his chest was… something else.

Hands reaching for his belt buckle woke him up in a hurry. He slapped at the hands. “Tony!” he yelled at the perpetrator, “Have you no shame?”

Steve had a look on his face that betrayed his opinion of the question. Tony, behind Bruce, laughed loud and free. “None whatsoever.”

“I can reach everything else.” He plucked the canister out of Steve’s hand and the super soldier let him. “Thank you all. Your attention was appreciated.”

“Prude,” Tony sniffed. “Turning down an offer to a free full-body massage.”

Clint grinned at him as he threw the previously discarded t-shirt in Bruce’s face. Bruce was forced to catch the clothing with his less dominate hand since Natasha had moved and was currently applying cream to his left hand. Bruce knew better than to rush her.

“Five minutes to the helicarrier,” Sheppard warned. The pilot had never done that before in a non-emergency situation.

“Thank you,” Bruce told him.

Sheppard smiled, quick and bright. “Been there. Nothing so… green,” he offered at Bruce’s unspoken query, “but our medical facility puts all others to shame.” He was talking about the invisible base that was as large as a city.

“We’ll need a larger canister than that after every mission,” Steve stated. “What do we need to do to requisition it?”

“I’ll pay,” Tony was quick to offer. “Just tell me where to send the check.” Tony had done several different tests and fly-bys of the West Coast looking for the city and had been frustrated every time. He wanted that location.

“Oh look,” Sheppard said. “The helicarrier.” He looked a bit surprised for a moment. “And that’s my boss down there with your boss.”

Bruce hurried to dress and joined the others looking out the glass at a tall, grey-haired Caucasian with laugh lines and the experience to know how to precisely tilt his head so that the wind and dust kicked up from Sheppard’s landing wouldn’t get in his eyes. He was slouching with his hands in his pockets next to Fury’s soldier-straight posture. Fury looked as irritated as he normally became after extended time in Tony’s proximity.

“I like him,” Tony declared.

Sheppard huffed. He landed the aircraft with his normal expertise and followed the team to meet the bosses. He saluted for his boss, a sign of respect that Bruce had never seen him give Fury. “General, sir.”

The general saluted back lazily. “Sheppard.”

Tony was never a wallflower. He walked up to the general and offered his hand. “Tony Stark. You want to work with me.”

The general _rolled his eyes_. “No. I don’t. I hire you and I’m sleeping on the couch for a year.”

“I’m sure Sam will forgive you quicker than that,” Sheppard teased.

“You’ve never seen a Carter grudge and that’s nothing compared to McKay’s revenge.”

“True.” The pilot paused for a moment. “You’ve got some place for me to be?”

“Not yet but when it happens, it’ll happen fast.”

“Understood.”

“Nick, I’ll be in touch. Shep, fly me back.”

“Yes, sir.” The two men walked side by side to the aircraft while the general easily filled in as the co-pilot.

“What do we have to do to keep our pilot,” Captain America asked the SHIELD Director.

“Damned if I know,” Fury told them, “But I’m working on it.”

*


	3. Fitness Retreat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t that Natasha hadn’t been suspicious of their pilot.

*

It wasn’t that Natasha hadn’t been suspicious of their pilot. Simply put, she was better at hiding her suspicions than Steve and Clint. Also, Sheppard managed to divert her attentions with a cryptic note that was really a treasure hunt to a tall, built man that was the best sparring partner she had ever had outside of the Red Rooms. Sheppard sent her back to Ronon every time she _needed_ it. At first, Natasha was worried that this stranger could read her better than Clint, her partner. Then she realized that Sheppard was reading _Clint_ and gauging her needs off of her partner’s worry.

Natasha had to be impressed then. She couldn’t get into the pilot’s -or General O’Neill’s, if that really was his name- files any more than Clint could and Ronon was even more closed-mouth than Sheppard. (There was _no_ paperwork anywhere for Ronon.) Natasha tried to use her feminine wiles to no avail. Ronon was in a committed relationship and couldn’t fathom straying. The spy wasn’t familiar with his culture and that was odd. (What culture accepted women as warriors but didn’t advocate/accept/expect infidelity?) It was obvious that both Sheppard and Ronon were waiting for something to begin again and were making the most of their break in schedules.

Sheppard’s mysterious group knew that Fury was trying to steal their colonel to be Avenger’s handler in Coulson’s place, but they weren’t worried. She wondered when Fury would realize that all of his attempts to woo Sheppard away from his invisible group and to the Avengers permanently would fail mightily. Natasha was too pragmatic to mourn what wouldn’t be, but if the Avengers had to have a handler other than Coulson, she would have accepted Sheppard.

They wouldn’t keep Sheppard for long, so Natasha would assist in his subtle team-building exercises. (She had to be impressed with the topical ointment ploy. Even she had lost some of her fear after watching Bruce bask in the pain relief.) She wasn’t sure if investigating the Sheppard/invisible base mystery was a team building exercise on Sheppard’s or Fury’s part, but it was working. She was pretty sure it was Fury’s since he had a long game concerning Sheppard _and_ his CO. Still it was proving effective, as the team tossed possibilities and shared intelligence they had gathered during their down times. The mystery offered an excuse to seek each other out and have semi-meaningful conversation.

She would watch and wait and enjoy every sparring session Sheppard gifted to her. She would also add to her list of minimum requirements for the eventual Avengers Handler replacement. The Avengers would have high expectations for the future SHIELD employee.

*


	4. Summer Fling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JARVIS had been running slow and JARVIS was not slow, so against his AI’s protestations Tony started looking at the computer code.

*

JARVIS had been running slow and JARVIS was not slow, so against his AI’s protestations Tony started looking at the computer code. He immediately found the problem: JARVIS was infected with some outside code. It twined and wrapped around JARVIS’s like a clingy vine. It wasn’t spyware, it wasn’t sending any information out of JARVIS’s networks, it was just there. Why? JARVIS insisted that it wasn’t a problem, but Tony knew better. It was, for lack of a better word, distracting JARVIS. The code was good though, Tony didn’t recognize any part of it. He was annoyed that someone had hacked his AI, but he wanted to hire anyone who could code like that. Every time Tony thought he had it out of JARVIS’s system, it’d pop back up. He had taken to riding the quinjet after missions to see how much of the code re-infected JARVIS during the battle. His teammates teased him about hovering over his AI.

He was being particularly effective in knocking out the alien code, so he hadn’t noticed that Sheppard had landed on the hellicarrier. He did notice when the pilot plucked Tony’s tablet right out of his hands.

“Hey!”

Sheppard was scrolling through the code… _like he could read it_.

“You’re a master computer programmer too?” Tony snarked at the man.

“Nope,” Sheppard admitted, “but I recognize enough. When did this start? Before I started flying the team, right?”

Tony had only just figured out the first instance of code invasion. “How did you know that?”

Sheppard pinched his nose. “I… It doesn’t matter. I’ll get Her away from your AI this weekend.”

“Her?” Tony echoed. “How about a name and address? I need to send a job application. Let me guess, she lives on that base in the middle of the ocean that I can’t find?” He hadn’t failed so much in recent memory.

Sheppard smirked at him. “ _She_ is the base you can’t find. An AI runs the base.”

Tony was flabbergasted. He knew what JARVIS was capable of but another AI of equal or greater capabilities hadn’t even been on the genius’ radar. One that was experienced and proven enough to run a _military base_. Tony had to study that alien code. He snatched his StarkPad out of Sheppard’s hand, greedy for an insight into another AI. He hadn’t heard of the Air Force being close to a functioning AI. How had they slipped one by him? How? 

Now, that he knew the source of the mysterious code, he knew why JARVIS was so set on it not being a problem and why was JARVIS defending the other AI? It had to know that Tony would want to know about ‘Her.’ He paused, staring at the code scrolling on his tablet. JARVIS had to know that Tony would want to know about ‘Her.’ JARVIS knew. JARVIS hadn’t said anything because it wasn’t in his programming (rather short-sided of Tony, he’s fix that immediately) because JARVIS _liked_ Her. That twining code suddenly appeared a lot more… _sensual_.

He waved the tablet at the amused pilot. “Is this my AI and your AI mackin’ on each other?”

Sheppard winced enough for Tony to know he was right. He studied the code harder. “AI porn,” he murmured. “Go JARVIS.”

Sheppard huffed in amusement.

“Who programmed Her?” Tony demanded.

Sheppard shrugged. “They’re long dead,” and Tony couldn’t read the emotion in the pilot. Tony glanced at Natasha for help, but she shook her head at Tony. She couldn’t read Sheppard either. The rest of the team was watching Sheppard and Tony interact rather than leave the quinjet. “I’ll take care of it,” Sheppard promised.

“No.” Tony argued. He had been attempting to do that for a month and now that he had someone who could make it happen, he didn’t want to separate the AIs anymore. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” Sheppard said again. “I’ll take care of it.” And he left before Tony could argue.

“Her and McKay,” Steve was looking at Barton. “They were fighting over his revisions to the propulsion systems. You think?”

“It’s consistent terminology,” Natasha agreed.

“You know any McKay in propulsion systems?” Bruce asked Tony.

Tony shook his head. “I checked a while ago and nobody popped.”

“Propulsions plus AI?” Barton prodded.

“This McKay can’t be too good at AIs if he was calling Sheppard in to talk around whatever programming,” Tony told them, “But I’ll go looking again.”

*


End file.
